GOING PRO: Getting Real in the Writing World: our September meeting

Posted on by

Shakespeare got to get paid, son

You think them sonnets write themselves?

Who: The Shebeen Club presents author, editor, Federation of BC Writers Executive Director Sylvia Taylor

What: GOING PRO: GETTING REAL IN THE WRITING WORLD

When: 7-9pm Monday, September 27th (one week later than our usual date)

Where: A private dining room in Rogue Wetbar in Waterfront Station

Why: Because in this economy, you either go pro or you go out of business

How (much): $20 early-bird tickets/$25 at the door includes dinner and a glass of wine

Come Out of the Cave and Into the Village!

Getting published and making a living isn’t just about writing anymore – it’s about building a solid foundation, a platform, of credibility and expertise. For experienced and emerging writers alike, we need to build our presence from the ground up, with good planning, good tools, good materials and creative flair. Treat yourself as an entrepreneur and you add to your chances of business success, particularly in a hostile economic climate like this one.

About Sylvia Taylor: Sylvia Taylor is an award-winning writer, editor, consultant, journalist, and educator with a passionate commitment to communication. As an entrepreneur and Executive Director of the Federation of BC Writers she brings what needs to be said into the world through the sublime balance of the Art & Engineering of Creativity.

New! Improved! Tonight, for the first time we’ll be at a new downtown location: a private dining room in the beautiful Rogue Wetbar in Waterfront Station. Register in advance and save $5!

If Hamburger Has a Helper…

Posted on by

…why isn’t there a Writer’s Helper? If there were, it would look something like this:

Tipsy the Novel Assistant

Tipsy the Novel Assistant, the Writer's Helper

Oh, if ONLY Microsoft made assistants that useful.

Tony Blair, criminal mind?

Posted on by
Tony Blair

Tony Blair, crime fiction author?

There’s a new  and amusing Facebook Group in town: Put One of Tony Blair’s Books in the Crime Section of Your Bookshop, and there’s some new evidence that they should at least be in Fiction generally.

The Torygraph (via Gawker) reports that contained within my Secret Boyfriend‘s autobiography is a passage cribbed, apparently, from the movie The Queen, and completely, utterly made up.

In A Journey, Blair claims that the Queen said to him: “You are my 10th prime minister. The first was Winston. That was before you were born.” In [screenwriter Peter] Morgan’s script to the 2006 film The Queen, Mirren, in the title role, tells Michael Sheen’s Blair: “You are my 10th prime minister, Mr Blair. My first was Winston Churchill.”

As a longtime reader of Majesty Magazine, I can tell you that there is very, very little likelihood that the first quotation is correct. The Queen just does not express herself this way in a formal and historically loaded context. She would surely have said “Churchill” or “Winston Churchill” if she said anything. And the screenwriter is adamant that he didn’t base it on any facts, just made it up entirely. So, when you do your substitution at the bookstore, you’d best put his book with Crime Fiction rather than True Crime!

Weird Al vs Bob Dylan

Posted on by

Who doesn’t love  Weird Al Yankovic? And who doesn’t love Bob Dylan videos? And who doesn’t love palindromes? Put them all together and you get something like this:

and while you’re at it, get me Michael Lewis’ phone number

Posted on by

No, I’m serious: Get me Michael Lewis‘ phone number!

If you ask me (and I don’t believe you did, but you might and I’m servicey like that, so here’s your answer in advance) not enough writers are the object of gratuitous sexual objectification, and here I speak, of course, not only of myself but of others as well.

Harold Bloom, for instance.

But one man, it seems, has achieved this dream, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer sci-fi-er: Ray Bradbury is the subject of this lusty, Silvermanesque ditty, unambiguously entitled “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury.”

And the lyrics of the tune every high school book club is going to want to perform at the Assembly:

Steve called me up and said: “Wanna hang out tonight?”

We could see an indie film or just grab a bite

I said: “Oh, Steve, YOU’RE cute, but a MOVIE’S not what I need. No offense, BUT I’d rather stay home and read.”

F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury

The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history

Oh F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury

Since I was twelve I’ve been your number one fan

“Kiss me, you ILLUSTRATED MAN.”

I’ll feed you grapes and Dandelion Wine

And we’ll read a little Fahrenheit 69

You’re a Prolific Author, Ray Bradbury

Come on baby, I’m down on one knee

I carved our names on a Halloween tree

You write about earthlings going to Mars

And I write about blowin you in my car

You won an Emmy AWARD for the screen play adaptation of Halloween Tree

F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury

The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history

Oh F-ck Me, F-ck Me Ray Bradbury

S is for space

L is for love

S is for space

L is for loveee

S is for space

L is for love

S is for space

L is for loveeeeeeeee

Houston we have a throb-blem

F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury

The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history

Oh F-ck Me, (F-ck Me) Ray Bradbury

Oh oh oh

F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury (f-ck me)

The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history

Cause when you f-ck me

Ray Bradbury

Something Wicked This Way Will Come

Something Wicked This Way Will Come

Something Wicked This Way Will Come

Something Wicked This Way Will Come

And by come, I mean ejaculate on a book.