This man is my hero

Rogue alcoholic court reporter kept writing ‘I hate my job’

You think YOUR job sucks?

You think YOUR job sucks?

Well, what would YOU do?

If my job was to pay attention to contentious court cases all day…well, actually that IS my job…but I can’t afford to be an alcoholic, so I guess I won’t be That Guy.

Daniel Kochanski, a New York court reporter, apparently deliberately screwed up some 30 transcripts and court documents. According to the New York Post, ” in a scene right out of 1980’s “The Shining,” where Jack Nicholson’s off-the-rails writer repeatedly types “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” a source said of Kochanski: “He hit random keys or wrote, ‘I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job,’ over and over.”

He was fired, of course, although it took the court system two years to find this stuff out. How many lawyers are buying transcripts and then just filing them away, never to be looked at again, or even in the first place?

Kochanski claims he was fired for substance abuse, and that he was driven to drink by the horrors of his work life, although the court system says it was for this unique form of transcript abuse, which was a result of his alcoholism.

He also maintains that even though “I hate my job” may not have been spoken in court, he “never typed gibberish.” But let the record show…oh, wait…

Special Story Writing Friends Needed!

…and by “special” we mean exactly what you think we do.

The big bad grammar Nazi

The big bad grammar Nazi

This is the Craigslist Ad of the Week, from the Writing Opportunities section of the Victoria, BC Craigslist. Whether this is a greater opportunity for writing or for derision is an open question, but it won’t be after you read the full ad. Here’s a teeny teaser.

It’ll be like Xman meets Harry Potter. I’ve got so many stories inside me. & more manifest! This is your Door. Watch my YouTube videos?! I need to put out. Help!! <3

[What’s the old saying? Beware of shamans who want to put out for you?]

I’ve got a story about a couple that traveled to hold really special party’s wile racking up really dope radical siblings & social life. Sick connections as they traveled the lands of their world with objective & uncanny timing. Their target is to find & provide a four day super positive metamorphic catalystic work space for safe people who want to really activate their superpowers right away.

To hold this gathering, we find & rent someone’s house, but not a small one. Then make sure you have at least 27 people are coming to attend this fore day break through session. $20.oo a head at the least. What happens is; there’s several songs that are potent light spells. Filled with carefully worded positive & uplifting affirmations. Loads a inner self supportive collective consciousness. Reinforced with lyrics to conger energy’s of safe love & protection.

I can definitely see at least 27 people wanting to pay $20.oo a head at the least for “fore” days of this. Yew betcha. If, again, only for the comedy value.

You fast on Day Two, and on Day Three 80% of you get acid. The other 20% get the shaft, I suppose. He does want to put out. Well, it doesn’t say “acid” specifically. It says “A equally porssoned mixed halusigenic liquid supplement…to conger energy’s of safe love & protection.”

But not, apparently, grammar, spelling, or punctuation.

Please, please, can someone I know go to this and take notes?

h/t Steffani Cameron

Today in Twitter Spats of the Immortals

Also, like Capote, not wrong.

Well, on the other hand Capote’s not wrong…

Joyce Carol Oates doesn’t like to let personal dignity get in the way of a podium op, which also doesn’t prevent her from fronting that personal dignity nearly kept her from a podium op. Also, up your comma game, gurl.

Typo Party!!!

This is simply too funny. Gotta love computer-generated WTF.

A Feast for Crows

A Feast for Crows