It’s the 21st Century, folks. That “Edwardian Dandy” look may be okay for Johnny Depp, but if you’re not as gifted in the “devastating physical beauty” category, it’s critical to keep your look modern and fresh. To that effort, the esteemed (if hardly ever, you know, read) New Yorker magazine sponsored a makeover of its beloved, if fusty, mascot, Eustace Tilley.

You can click through all the selected winners (in the finest tradition of literary magazines, I believe not one of them got paid) or you can scroll below to see some of my personal favorites. Yes, I’m a little bit Goth. What can I say: everything old is new again.

Big Daddy Tilley

Tilley Makeover Horror

Mr Burns is a Tilley for the new century

Zombie Tilley. So hot right now.

Eustace Tilley goes sci-fi

and my favorite, and not just because that stupid Facebook quiz told me I was Dorian Gray:

The Picture of Eustace Tilley

This is a post for Blogathon, by the way.