Who doesn’t love Weird Al Yankovic? And who doesn’t love Bob Dylan videos? And who doesn’t love palindromes? Put them all together and you get something like this:
Category Archives: Literary
and while you’re at it, get me Michael Lewis’ phone number
No, I’m serious: Get me Michael Lewis‘ phone number!
If you ask me (and I don’t believe you did, but you might and I’m servicey like that, so here’s your answer in advance) not enough writers are the object of gratuitous sexual objectification, and here I speak, of course, not only of myself but of others as well.
Harold Bloom, for instance.
But one man, it seems, has achieved this dream, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer sci-fi-er: Ray Bradbury is the subject of this lusty, Silvermanesque ditty, unambiguously entitled “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury.”
And the lyrics of the tune every high school book club is going to want to perform at the Assembly:
Steve called me up and said: “Wanna hang out tonight?”
We could see an indie film or just grab a bite
I said: “Oh, Steve, YOU’RE cute, but a MOVIE’S not what I need. No offense, BUT I’d rather stay home and read.”
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
Since I was twelve I’ve been your number one fan
“Kiss me, you ILLUSTRATED MAN.”
I’ll feed you grapes and Dandelion Wine
And we’ll read a little Fahrenheit 69
You’re a Prolific Author, Ray Bradbury
Come on baby, I’m down on one knee
I carved our names on a Halloween tree
You write about earthlings going to Mars
And I write about blowin you in my car
You won an Emmy AWARD for the screen play adaptation of Halloween Tree
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, F-ck Me Ray Bradbury
S is for space
L is for love
S is for space
L is for loveee
S is for space
L is for love
S is for space
L is for loveeeeeeeee
Houston we have a throb-blem
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, (F-ck Me) Ray Bradbury
Oh oh oh
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury (f-ck me)
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cause when you f-ck me
Ray Bradbury
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
And by come, I mean ejaculate on a book.
Sidney Awards available monthly
Sidney Hillman Foundation logo
This is sweet, particularly given that ALL WordPress.com blogs are technically “published” in the US and thus qualify for consideration. The Sidney Hillman foundation, source of the prestigious, annual Hillman award, is now offering the Sidney, a monthly award of $500. Here are the deets from the application page:
Sidney Award Nominations
For more than 50 years, the Sidney Hillman Foundation has awarded, annually, the prestigious Hillman Prizes in Journalism. In 2009, the Foundation inaugurated the Sidney, a monthly award for an outstanding piece of socially-conscious journalism. We are looking for investigative work that fosters social and economic justice.
The Sidney is awarded monthly to a piece published in a magazine, newspaper, on a news site, or a blog in the United States. Television and radio segments broadcast in the United States are also eligible, as are published photography series.
Deadlines are the last day of the month in which the piece was published/aired. In the case of magazines, please nominate according to the issue date on the publication, not when it first appeared.
You may submit your own work or nominate someone else’s.
Whenever possible, please provide the full text of the story you are nominating, either in the body of your email or as an attachment, as well as the URL.
The Foundation will announce each month’s winner on the 15th of the following month. Recipients will be awarded $500, a bottle of union-made wine, and our certificate designed by New Yorker cartoonist, Edward Sorel.
I love that “union-made wine.” That says so much, right there. You have to fill out the form on the page, so don’t hang around here, go do it!
Grammar is Important: a reminder
Wisdom from Twitter; but seriously, you knew that, right? Uncle Jack never forgave you after that Facebook update.
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The Surrey International Writers’ Conference Writing Contest
Sharpen your pencils! It's time for the SIWC Writing Contest
Now that I’m not on the board anymore, I should enter this. Then again, email submissions are not allowed (honestly, is it SO hard???) and I don’t have a printer. Maybe I’ll make a web video of me typing it out on my old ’59 Hermes and get some juice out of it that way.
Wow, they’re getting specific with these. The deadline has a time as well as a date!
Deadline for entering is 4 p.m., Friday, September 10, 2010
1. The Surrey International Writers’ Conference Writing Contest is open to all writers 18 years and older. Young writers should check out Surrey Public Library’s Young Writers’ Contest.
2. Submissions from employees of the Surrey Continuing Education Department, instructors in the Surrey Creative Writing Diploma Program, and members of the Conference Board of Directors cannot be considered.
3. All submissions must contain original material, and may not have been previously published, accepted for publication, or have been a winner in another contest prior to the September 10th deadline.
4. Four Categories:
SIWC Storyteller’s Award: short stories 3,500 — 5,000 words
SIWC Non-fiction Award: maximum length 1,500 words
SIWC Poetry Award: one poem per submission: 40 lines max.
SIWC Writing For Young People Award: short stories, maximum length 1,500 words
5. Standard manuscript format — double-spaced, typed, one side only on white 8-1/2 x 11″ paper (letter-sized),each page to include title and page number only. No staples, please. Poetry may be single-spaced.
6. Blind submissions — the author’s name must not appear anywhere on the manuscript except cover page.
7. Include a cover page listing the writer’s name, address, email address, phone number, entry title, word length, and award competition category. Attach to manuscript with paper clip. All information is held in strict confidence, and will be destroyed after the contest winners are announced. Manuscripts are not returned.
8. In addition to hard copy, all entrants must be able to submit their work by email if requested. (This enables us to forward short-listed work to the final judges, and to produce the anthology of winning work in time for the conference). Short-listed writers will be notified in early October.
9. Entries are also accepted by email. Please follow the submission guidelines as noted above and copy your submission into the body of your email. Send your email to contest@siwc.ca. Attachments will be deleted, unread. The contest coordinator will print and format your submission (including a cover page) as per above instructions for consideration by the judges. Send your cheque or money order to
SiWC Writing Contest
SD #36, Unit 400, 9260 – 140 Street
Surrey, BC V3V 5Z4
Canada
Emailed entries will not be considered until the entry fee is received.
10. No entries will be returned. If you want the receipt of your entry acknowledged, please enclose a stamped,self-addressed postcard.
11. Final judges to be announced.
12. a) Mail deliveries:
SiWC Writing Contest
Unit 400, 9260 – 140 Street
Surrey, BC V3V 5Z4
Canada,
b) Courier or hand deliveries:
SiWC Writing Contest
Unit 400, 9260 – 140 Street
Surrey, BC V3V 5Z4
Canada,
c) Email entries:
Submit your work in the body of your email to contest@siwc.ca. Attachments will be deleted.
13. DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSION: All entries must be postmarked by 4 p.m., Friday, September 10, 2010. No late entries will be considered.
14. All entries must be sent by email, regular mail, courier, or hand delivered. Faxed entries will not be accepted.
15. Only work which conforms to all the guidelines can be considered. Due to the volume of entries, we are unable to contact writers whose entries are incomplete. Check that yours meets every requirement before submitting.
16. The judges and conference/contest organizers cannot comment on individual entries.
17. Entry fees: $15 per submission. You may enter as many pieces as you like in one or more categories, but each entry must be accompanied by the $15 fee. You may combine fees in one cheque or money order. Fees must be received by September 10, 2010.
18. Cheques/money orders must be included with all entries, and be payable to SiWC. Emailed entries must send cheque or money order by mail to
SiWC Writing Contest
Unit 400, 9260 – 140 Street
Surrey, BC V3V 5Z4
Canada,
19. Winners will be informed by October 13, 2010. Prizes will be awarded at the Awards Ceremony on the first evening of the Conference, Friday, October 22. Winners will be listed on the conference website http://www.siwc.ca in the week after the conference.
20. Prizes:
Storyteller’s Award: 1st Place $1,000 and anthology; Honourable Mention(s) $150 each.
Nonfiction Award: 1st Place $1,000 and anthology; Honourable Mention(s) $150 each.
Poetry Award: 1st Place $1,000 and anthology; Honourable Mention(s) $150 each.
Writing for Young People Award: 1st Place $1,000 and anthology; Honourable Mention(s) $150 each.
In some cases, prizes might not be awarded exactly as noted, according to the discretion of the judges.
All winning entries will be published in the Writing Contest anthology which will be available at the conference Friday evening, immediately following the announcement of the winners.
21. Submission implies the author is granting first right of publication to the SiWC, as winners will be published in our annual anthology. Rights then revert to the author. Entering the contest also grants the SIWC the right to publish the entrant’s name in the contest anthology and the SIWC website, should the entrant be short-listed for, or win, a SIWC writing contest prize. Please see the SIWC website (siwc.ca) for the SIWC’s full privacy policy.
Direct any queries about the contest to kc dyer: contest@siwc.ca.
NB. Young Writers should investigate Surrey Public Library’s Young Writer’s Contest
The Shebeen Club 