…why isn’t there a Writer’s Helper? If there were, it would look something like this:
Tipsy the Novel Assistant, the Writer's Helper
Oh, if ONLY Microsoft made assistants that useful.
If Hamburger Has a Helper…
Category Archives: Books
Tony Blair, criminal mind?
Tony Blair, crime fiction author?
There’s a new and amusing Facebook Group in town: Put One of Tony Blair’s Books in the Crime Section of Your Bookshop, and there’s some new evidence that they should at least be in Fiction generally.
The Torygraph (via Gawker) reports that contained within my Secret Boyfriend‘s autobiography is a passage cribbed, apparently, from the movie The Queen, and completely, utterly made up.
In A Journey, Blair claims that the Queen said to him: “You are my 10th prime minister. The first was Winston. That was before you were born.” In [screenwriter Peter] Morgan’s script to the 2006 film The Queen, Mirren, in the title role, tells Michael Sheen’s Blair: “You are my 10th prime minister, Mr Blair. My first was Winston Churchill.”
As a longtime reader of Majesty Magazine, I can tell you that there is very, very little likelihood that the first quotation is correct. The Queen just does not express herself this way in a formal and historically loaded context. She would surely have said “Churchill” or “Winston Churchill” if she said anything. And the screenwriter is adamant that he didn’t base it on any facts, just made it up entirely. So, when you do your substitution at the bookstore, you’d best put his book with Crime Fiction rather than True Crime!
and while you’re at it, get me Michael Lewis’ phone number
No, I’m serious: Get me Michael Lewis‘ phone number!
If you ask me (and I don’t believe you did, but you might and I’m servicey like that, so here’s your answer in advance) not enough writers are the object of gratuitous sexual objectification, and here I speak, of course, not only of myself but of others as well.
Harold Bloom, for instance.
But one man, it seems, has achieved this dream, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer sci-fi-er: Ray Bradbury is the subject of this lusty, Silvermanesque ditty, unambiguously entitled “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury.”
And the lyrics of the tune every high school book club is going to want to perform at the Assembly:
Steve called me up and said: “Wanna hang out tonight?”
We could see an indie film or just grab a bite
I said: “Oh, Steve, YOU’RE cute, but a MOVIE’S not what I need. No offense, BUT I’d rather stay home and read.”
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
Since I was twelve I’ve been your number one fan
“Kiss me, you ILLUSTRATED MAN.”
I’ll feed you grapes and Dandelion Wine
And we’ll read a little Fahrenheit 69
You’re a Prolific Author, Ray Bradbury
Come on baby, I’m down on one knee
I carved our names on a Halloween tree
You write about earthlings going to Mars
And I write about blowin you in my car
You won an Emmy AWARD for the screen play adaptation of Halloween Tree
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, F-ck Me Ray Bradbury
S is for space
L is for love
S is for space
L is for loveee
S is for space
L is for love
S is for space
L is for loveeeeeeeee
Houston we have a throb-blem
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh F-ck Me, (F-ck Me) Ray Bradbury
Oh oh oh
F-ck Me, Ray Bradbury (f-ck me)
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cause when you f-ck me
Ray Bradbury
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Something Wicked This Way Will Come
And by come, I mean ejaculate on a book.
Sidney Awards available monthly
Sidney Hillman Foundation logo
This is sweet, particularly given that ALL WordPress.com blogs are technically “published” in the US and thus qualify for consideration. The Sidney Hillman foundation, source of the prestigious, annual Hillman award, is now offering the Sidney, a monthly award of $500. Here are the deets from the application page:
Sidney Award Nominations
For more than 50 years, the Sidney Hillman Foundation has awarded, annually, the prestigious Hillman Prizes in Journalism. In 2009, the Foundation inaugurated the Sidney, a monthly award for an outstanding piece of socially-conscious journalism. We are looking for investigative work that fosters social and economic justice.
The Sidney is awarded monthly to a piece published in a magazine, newspaper, on a news site, or a blog in the United States. Television and radio segments broadcast in the United States are also eligible, as are published photography series.
Deadlines are the last day of the month in which the piece was published/aired. In the case of magazines, please nominate according to the issue date on the publication, not when it first appeared.
You may submit your own work or nominate someone else’s.
Whenever possible, please provide the full text of the story you are nominating, either in the body of your email or as an attachment, as well as the URL.
The Foundation will announce each month’s winner on the 15th of the following month. Recipients will be awarded $500, a bottle of union-made wine, and our certificate designed by New Yorker cartoonist, Edward Sorel.
I love that “union-made wine.” That says so much, right there. You have to fill out the form on the page, so don’t hang around here, go do it!
Lorraine Murphy, Shebeen Club founder on Books on the Radio
Sean Cranbury of Books on the Radio
Lorraine Murphy by Jules Morgan
I’ve been meaning to post this forever; it’s Sean Cranbury of Books on the Radio interviewing me at the Irish Heather about the impact of the Digital Revolution on the traditional publishing industry. Set aside a half-hour, get a refreshing beverage, click Play and enjoy. Although you’ll enjoy it somewhat less if you’re a publisher who thinks the book industry doesn’t need to change.
The money shot:
“The question publishers have to answer now is, what are you doing for me that makes it worthwhile giving you 90% of the proceeds from my book?“
The Shebeen Club 